vomitgod’s weblog

Ten random observations/questions by a beloved misanthropist:

01. I wonder how many people with a “Support The Troops” magnet on the back of their gas guzzler will spend Memorial Day weekend (aka the “holiday” weekend) shopping, grilling carcasses, immeresed in sporting events, or sipping a cold beer from a lawn chair in their backyards?

02. You can’t contract the swine flu by eating pork, but you can contract the swine flu because you eat pork (i.e. factory farming).

03. Q: Why are women leaving men for other women? A: Because they’re smart.

04. People from Alabama shouldn’t leave suicide notes if they “can’t take it no more”. Aside from being dead, you’ve advertently left behind an epitaph that makes it sound like you’re a dunderhead from Alabama!

05. Wouldn’t the “Christian” thing to do be to help others without attempting to convert them to Christianity?

06. When sisters are doing it for themselves, sisters are doing it to themselves.

07. Do you only cover your mouth/nose when you cough/sneeze when it’s flu season? Or only when there is a supposedly imminent pandemic afoot? I always cover my mouth/nose when I cough/sneeze. There I go again being an elitist asshole.

08. Where does the urge for one to subject their pet to incomprehensible “baby talk” come from?

09. Americans are not “losing” religion, they are changing it to fit their active lifestyles, suit their sexual orientation(s), and coincide with their ideas of a very specific and no-doubt glorious afterlife.

10. Facebooks users should be able to become fans of themselves, because most users are apparently their own biggest fans.