Ten random observations/questions by a beloved misanthropist:
01. In the future, will there be legal precedence to sue someone for looking too much like someone else? Perhaps carrying with it a sentence of mandatory cosmetic surgery?
02. Every time I force myself to watch the Grammys, I wonder if I actually like music.
03. Even though I received a “stellar”, private and boarding high school education, when I graduated I had no knowledge of how to pay taxes, what a mortage is, what my credit rating and/or history is, what a credit cards is, how to write a check, how and when to vote, how to register to vote, and the many other significant daily/monthly/annual government requirements or participatory endeavors thrust upon patriotic, law-abiding citizens of the USA. I did, however, retain the solution to Sodium Pentathol, which is C11 H17 N2 Na O2 S (it’s also the title of a song by the band Anthrax).
04. Algebra, Geometry, Chemistry and the like should never, under any circumstances, be requirements for a high school diploma. If possible or applicable, they should be an option/elective, but come with the following disclaimer: “Warning! This class will likely have absolutely nothing to do with your future vocation, nor will it have anything what-so-ever to do with any/all of your future endeavors.”
05. In a letter (and likely in jest), composer Edvard Grieg dubbed arguably his most popular composition, “In the Hall of the Mountain King”, as “something that I literally can’t stand to listen to because it absolutely reeks of cow pies and trollish self-sufficiency.” This sets the bar very high for yours truly, as I can only hope to one day achieve the same level of vitriol regarding my own compositions.
06. If you are perpetually worried about economic stimulus, chances are good that you are not receiving enough physical stimulus.
07. As a part of project management training, I was asked what I thought might be the most important four-word question of all-time. The best I could muster was, “Are you there, God?”. Suffice to say this question trumped all others. Easily.
08. Just because a word is phonetically similar to a totally unrelated, hateful racial slur, doesn’t mean that it should be avoided, banned, or used as a catalyst for employee resignation/termination. Furthermore, politically-correct assholes have acted niggardly in regards to the word niggardly.
09. If you’re offended, it’s probable that I’m just as offended that you’re offended.
10. I’m happy to spend a romantic evening with my significant other 24/7/365. Valentine’s Day is unncecessary, irrelevant, and likely an excuse for a litany of repetive, selfish actions. Or, to have sexual intercourse strictly in the missionary position.